Katrine Seghetti-Mayhew
Mother of a quadriplegic son
Those of us who are mothers we know what it's like to carry our child for nine months; giving thought to everything we do... knowing each and every choice has an impact on the child we're carrying.
And when they're born, the first time they wrap their tiny little fingers around yours they have stolen your heart forever. When they're afraid, you calm their fears. When they cry, you cry with them. When their heart gets broken, so does yours. When they fall and cut themselves, you kiss and make it better. Can any of you imagine a situation, something horrific that happens to your child... and you can't "kiss and make it better"? Try to imagine the worst scenario... having to stand by helplessly without being able to do anything about it. Take yourselves to the deepest, darkest part of your heart and soul knowing that there will always be a part of you that will remain there forever. Can you imagine how terrifying that would be?
I can...and I know it well... July 20, 2003 my gorgeous, 6'5", 19-year old son went water skiing with his friends on the Mississippi river like they had been doing all summer. When they pulled up to a sand bar around East Alton, like they had done many times before, my son dove out the back of the boat... only this time the water wasn't as deep as normal... the month had been hot and we had had no rain.
My son immediately broke his neck at C5 / C6 and was unable to save himself. He lay there on the bottom of that muddy, filthy, river until one of his friends who refused to give up looking for him pulled him out of the water. Clayton lay on the sand bar for approximately 1 1/2 hours while his friends frantically tried to get help. As the helicopter was landing at St. John's Mercy Medical Center, I lost my son. Thank God for the EMTs who were able to resuscitate him. Thank God it wasn't my son's day to die!
Can any of you imagine hearing an ER doctor tell you that your child is paralyzed? Can any of you imagine being led to your child's side in the ER after hearing those terrorizing words, while at the same time you're struggling to keep it together so you don't scare your child; so they can't see the look of terror and fear in your eyes? Can any of you even begin to imagine the first time your child is cognizant enough in ICU to ask you what happened and what's wrong with them? Try to imagine breaking that news to your child, watching the terror and fear in their eyes, seeing the tears roll down their cheeks knowing they no longer have the ability to wipe them away!
Can you even begin to imagine, as a parent, not being able to "kiss and make it better?" Not being able to shield them, protect them, comfort them, take away their fear! I do.
Upon Clayton's release from St. John's we immediately got him into the Activity-Based Recovery Program under the direction of Dr. John McDonald. This program is a part of the Spinal Cord Injury Restorative Treatment and Research Program at Washington University School of Medicine that has received national attention due to Christopher Reeve's involvement. His initial evaluation was encouraging! A patient's level of paralysis is rated A through D; "A" being a complete paralysis - no feeling, no movement (spinal cord severed), "B" being incomplete paralysis - slight feeling, slight movement. Clayton was evaluated as a Level C - incomplete quadriplegic.
Today... almost 2 1/2 years out from the accident I am amazed to be able to say that my entire family has established a "new normal." I am proud of my son beyond words. While at the rehab center he was the first to welcome a newcomer and encourage them along the way. For those parents who were having a difficult time accepting their child's current situation - he'd always ask me and husband to come and meet with them. Clayton lives with his girlfriend and her 4-year old son - and has totally embraced the new role of father.
He is on a local quad rugby team (St. Louis Rugby Rams), which is associated with the United States Quad Rugby Association and travels for different tournaments. He would love to work toward a national team or the Paralympics' games.
From the moment I was able to catch my breath I have not given up my belief in my son's full recovery and have gotten involved in the spinal cord injury community with every spare moment I have available. I was honored to be one of four guest speakers at an Independent Living Rally in Jefferson City in March 2005 protesting against the Medicaid cuts that Governor Blunt was proposing at the time. I was on the Board of Directors of the National Spinal Cord Injury Association, and still have a column on their website today.
I stay in contact with those associated with Dr. McDonald and the stem cell research he continues to do with the Kennedy Kreiger Institute. My son continues to recover; however, he has a long road ahead of him. For obvious reasons the efforts of the Missouri Coalition for Lifesaving Cures are extremely personal for me. I am pro-life and have always voted pro-life. I thoroughly understand the controversy surrounding embryonic stem cells and would greatly encourage you to take the time to review the information provided on this website.
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